I just left after getting Dad settled back into the hospital. He had a rough day. Actually, he's had a rough year.
I'm not ready to give my dad up just yet. I know God knows best, and I know I'm not the only person who has suffered this pain of seeing someone you love go down. I remind myself daily how fortunate I am that my dad has lived 81 years. He is the toughest man I know! He has suffered countless health crises since all the way back to the 1970s, any one of them which could have ended his life many years ago.
He was in a terrible accident when I was 8 years old that almost took his life. In that wreck, he broke most of his ribs, broke his nose, had a collapsed lung, broke his back and completely crushed his left leg. Since then he's had 13 pulmonary embolisms, a stroke, 5 heart attacks and he's got 10 stents in his arteries and one in his bile duct. He's had pneumonia and pluracy too many times to count, he has had blood sugar levels from 30 all the way to 700. He had several low blood pressure events over the last few months that were 70/30 and even lower. He beat prostate cancer about 5 years ago. He has fought pancreatic cancer the last few months like a beast! Just today, he had an intestinal hemmorage that caused him to lose almost 4 liters of blood. How he was not passed out on the floor, I don't know. He is Superman!
Dad says often that he doesn't understand why God had a brought him through so much. He says he doesn't deserve it. My response to him is always, "Dad, thank God most of us never get what we deserve or we would all be in a bad spot!"
My dad may not be a perfect man, but to me, he's the best dad in the world. He "gets" me. (Not many people do!!) He's my Golden Corral buddy, my sentence-finisher, my singing partner and my friend. He's the only dad I will ever have and the only one I've ever wanted. I'm not ready to let him go.
I am thankful for the promise that when my dad's time on this earth is over, I KNOW he will be in Heaven, waiting what will seem to him like the blink of an eye for me to show up, even though my time here without him will seem painfully long. He will be reunited with his mom (my Granny), and many other relatives that have gone on before us. My dad will meet Jesus face to face. The Jesus who knows my dad's struggles here on earth is the same Jesus that has loved him through it all, never giving up on him. He gave Dad the gift of time..time to think, time to pray, time to say what needs to be said, time to love and be loved, time to make sure he is at peace with God...time that many people don't get.
I told Dad today that for whatever time he has left, we are breaking all the rules. If he wants ice cream at midnight, I'm throwing on some flip flops with my pajamas and heading down to get him! If he wants to drive to his hometown of Appalachia, we are loading up and going. Life is short. 81 years isn't that long when you are lying in bed, facing the end, reflecting on life and wishing for more time.
We are not spending the rest of Dad's days thinking about what's to come. We are receiving the gift of today and squeezing everything out of it that we can. When that tomorrow comes, I'm going to thank God for time..for answering my prayers for just a little more time.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
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