Categorize, Choose, Simplify, Enjoy

 

Categorize, Choose, Simplify, Enjoy. Those are the words we've begun to live by in our old age! 

We ran the treadmill of life wide open for the first 30 years of marriage. Kids, our jobs, all our many side jobs, the house...life was basically chosen for us for all those years. Rarely did we ever have time to look at each other and ask, "What do you need?", or, "What do we want to do?" We lived by the rule of responsibility first, fun second. We worked a lot, but still found time to have a ton of fun with our kids, family and friends. The problem was, we never really had time for fun for ourselves. Our fun was investing in someone else's fun 100% of the time. 

Looking back, even if we had needed anything for us, where would we have had the time to indulge ourselves? From where would we have pulled money to afford what we wanted, had that been something not necessarily, well..necessary? We were caught in a trap of putting ourselves last every single time, and most of those "lasts" truly ended up being "nevers".

I'm really not complaining. I wouldn't trade all those years for any amount of money, fun or relaxation. Our early years of marriage, raising our boys and building our lives were like a fairytale life for us. I really would have stayed there forever if it had been possible. We have had the best life of anyone I know, and I wouldn't change a thing. I have been blessed way more than I deserve, for sure. If I died today, I feel like I accomplished everything I ever dreamed of in this life. I am so, so grateful to The Lord for the life I've been able to live so far!

But, whether we like it or not, life is certain to change. The boys are grown and are building their own lives. We are getting closer and closer to our "golden years". It's been a hard adjustment to give up the life we loved so much, but we also realize that's how life is supposed to go and we are so proud of all our adult kids. Still, it's hard to accept we are getting older ourselves, yet, here we are looking at retirement staring us in the face telling us we'd better get ready for him! We are having to make some decisions and plans for the years that are to come very soon that just a few years ago seemed a million miles down the road!

I know we are only in our late 50s and that's not really that old anymore, but so many people we know that are our age have had sudden unexpected events in the last year or two. Some have developed debilitating conditions, or have gotten major, life-changing diagnoses, some of them never recovering and losing their battles to death. Some of them were younger than us. 

Life is fragile. It is at any age, but with each year that ticks by, it is especially fleeting. I'm acutely aware that our lives will definitely change irreversibly at some point in the future. That could be in 30 more years, or that could happen before I finish writing this post. I also know that we won't always have the opportunities we have now, because whether we like it or not, we won't always have the stamina and ability to keep moving at the pace we move at now. Old age is inevitable. Ailments are inevitable. Death is inevitable. Life is changing for us, and we are heading into that season sooner or later.

We are in changing times, for sure, and changing times call for changing measures! It was time to use whatever time we have left how we want to, for a change (literally and figuratively!). We still choose our family every single time we can get together with them, but we have been very intentional over the last year in focusing on our marriage as a top priority on the days we do have to ourselves. We go for walks, we sit under the night sky and look at the stars, we enjoy patio dining at our little outside table for two. We find an interesting show to watch, we chat with neighbors, and we actually have conversation with each other! We enjoy the calm and quiet days we have now, and we love being able to figure it out as we go instead of having our days planned for us. We have a sweetness in our marriage that we've never experienced before. We have simplified our lives, and we are loving it!

I hope we can look back in the next season of our lives and say this chapter was another one of our best. I hope this sweet era lasts a long, long time before we are in a much more difficult phase. But, however it all plays out, I hope I can once again say I have no regrets on how we chose to spend it. We categorized, we chose, we simplified, and we are enjoying it...every single blessed minute. 

Psalm 90:10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.