I often think about my "starting out" years, when I graduated high school and set out to make my own way in life. I remember thinking, "I can't believe it! I have MY OWN PLACE!"
Looking back on that time, I realize now how little I had, but at the time I felt like I had hit the jackpot! My favorite place I lived during those years starting out was a little 2 bedroom apartment that was situated over top of a small business. It was only a few years old at that time and even though it was tiny, it was plenty big enough for just me.
I had 2 hand-me-down Archie Bunker style chairs and 2 homemade end tables my dad built with old Wendy's restaurant table tops (remember the Formica tables they had with old newspaper articles on them?!). I bought a small metal and glass table and chairs set for my kitchen for $88 at Big Lots, and I had a bed that my parents let me take from home. I bought a television and VCR on credit from Montgomery Ward that took me 2 years to pay off. That's all I had to my name!
I remember balancing my money carefully so I could be sure to have my $200 rent money each month. I stuck $50 per week back and pretended it wasn't there so I wouldn't be stressed when rent was due. A couple of times a year I had a 5-week month, so I had an extra $50 to go shopping!! I would hit the Hill's Department Store clearance rack for some new clothes!!
During those days, I worked holidays, weekends...pretty much any time I could. I actually worked with a woman who resented and made fun of me for wanting to work on holidays, because if one of us wanted to work, that meant the hair salon I worked in would be open that day, which also meant she would have to be there to answer the phone. She was none too happy about it, and she made that perfectly clear to me every time that happened!
That receptionist had no idea how much I would have loved to have taken the day off myself, but working on straight commission meant I had to work just to make enough to pay my bills each month. It wasn't that I was just greedy or that I liked nice things and wanted money for extras...I had to work to support myself.
Today, as I write this, I am sitting in my home, comfortable and warm, much more generously furnished than that little apartment from years ago. I didn't have to work in my shop today, so I spent the day cleaning my house and catching up laundry and other odd and end things that needed done around here.
It's days like this that I find myself reminiscing about those apartment years, not because I miss them by any means, but because I don't want to ever forget them. When I am cleaning my house, I think back to never believing I could ever actually have a house..a real house with a yard and everything!! I also couldn't believe I would ever find someone to love me, but my life has been filled with more love than I thought possible by my husband and 3 sons. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude every time I reflect back on my starting out years. I have been blessed so much more than I ever imagined, and certainly more than I ever deserved.
I never want to forget being a lonely heart, living alone and barely scraping by. It's because of those years that I can see how God has blessed me! I see His hand on everything I own and I see how even when I didn't know how to move forward, God was orchestrating a path for me. I often am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11(NIV):
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Thank you, Lord, for furniture to dust, that means You planned for me to have furniture to fill my home! Thank you for dishes to wash, that means You made sure I had a meal! Thank you for laundry, that means You clothed me! Thank you for electric bills, water bills and taxes, that means You gave me a nice, warm home with modern conveniences to keep me comfortable! Thank you for handprints, crumbs and things left lying around, and for the people who live here that leave their marks on our home, because at the end of the day, they are my greatest blessings!
Help me remember to never forget, Lord. Help me remember!!
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