I heard a quote at church today that was so good I came straight home and wrote it down: “Mental health is facing reality at all costs.” Yesss! That statement reveals so much about some of the problems our country is facing today.
I have noticed a trend over the last few years. It seems like people, both young and old, have a desperate need to escape reality. Some escape by using drugs or alcohol, some by creating a false reality on social media, some by just tuning out the world and pretending all is well, even when it’s obviously not. I’ve pondered this trend for a while now and as a realist myself, I have wondered what has happened to our men and women in this country?
Just a generation or two ago, people seemed to be better at digging in their heels and dealing with life. I think about my grandparents, all of whom had their share of hardships and reasons to escape entirely into the abyss of denial. My paternal grandparents seemed to never have more financially than just what they needed to get by. They never even owned a home, they always rented and moved often in an attempt to find a more affordable place. My Granny never learned to drive and mostly stayed home cooking and cleaning. My Granddaddy worked on the railroad. He had a physically hard job and had a wife and five children to support. I don’t remember ever hearing either of them complain about their situation. Even as they both went through serious health problems and right up to their deaths, I never once heard them propose that life had treated them unfairly.
My mother’s parents had hard lives too, especially in their younger years. My Papaw’s mother died when he was just nine years old. He started working shortly thereafter to help support his younger siblings. He went through losing the family home in a fire, and the death of his two-year-old baby brother that his father accidentally backed over in their driveway. As the oldest child, he was expected to act as the man of the house and bore a lot of responsibility. He married my Nanny at 18 years old. She was just 15, and just a few weeks before they married, her dad and little 13 year old brother were killed in a fiery accident when the fuel truck my great-grandfather drove was struck by a train. Both my Papaw and Nanny had many reasons to give up, but neither did. My grandmother surely suffered outwardly more than my grandfather did, but neither of them gave up.
My parents were married when my Mom was just 14 years old and my Dad was 19. Soon after they married, Dad went to Germany to serve in the army. After 16 months, Mom was able to join him, leaving home for the first time and flying over seas to a foreign country all by herself at just 15 years old. My oldest brother was born around a year later, followed a few years later by my other brother, then me and my younger sister. My mother stayed home with us, and after the army years, Dad worked at a grocery store and later drove a bread truck route. When I was 8 years old, Dad was in a terrible accident in his bread truck that almost took his life. He suffered multiple injuries, many of which still plague him today. My mother took care of us kids by herself, for the most part, and she took care of Dad at the same time. The rest of my childhood and teen years were spent in a “touch and go” type pattern, with Dad in the hospital most of the time, us wondering if he would make it through once again. Peppered into the situation were marital problems that threatened to destroy our family. Just last October, my parents celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary. They didn’t give up!
Throughout each of the events and situations I’ve described, there were moments of defeat and patterns of unhealthy behavior that all of my family members, including me, experienced. None of us are perfectly balanced and mentally healthy in all areas of our lives all of the time! But, when I look back at these stories and the stories of so many others, I still see a pattern of staying in the game and facing the giants that hoped to destroy.
It seems that part of the problem in our day in time is that people struggle more with self-discipline than in times past. Maybe it’s because we are in a “need it now, get it now” world. Our endurance seems to be gone. Falling into escape patterns when we don’t get our way is a natural reaction in a society where everything we want or need normally comes at the touch of a button. Why wouldn’t we be frustrated that we can’t always fix everything instantly? Nearly everything around us is under our control. How are we to deal with something that’s not? God wants us to practice controlling our emotions and reactions. He wants us to trust Him to take care of things for us.
The main thing about reality that we need to understand is that God already knows how it’s all going to play out! If we only knew the end result, how often would we walk more gracefully through the fires the enemy sends our way? I have so often said, “Lord, if you would just drop me a little Post-It note telling me how you are going to fix this, that’d be great!” I know He has a plan for everything that happens in my life. The problem is me!! I don’t want to suffer. I don’t want to be uncomfortable. But one thing God has revealed to me in this life is that through Him, I will survive. Zoning out in an attempt to not feel the pain is not an option. Escaping is not trusting Him. I may be hurting, I may be lacking, by the world’s standards, at least. But, through Christ, I have the strength to stand up and face whatever life throws at me, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NIV
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
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