2023: The Year of the Hard Reset

Hard Reset. That's how I would describe my 2023. 

I was listening to Focus on the Family this week and the subject was starting the new year with bettering yourself and getting rid of old habits. One thing the guest speaker, Debra Fileta, said that really resonated with me was that we all have a well that we give from, and that it's possible to pour so much from that well into others that we are left with nothing but the muddy gunk at the bottom for ourselves. 

For most of my life, I've been a caregiver in some form or another. It's a running joke in my family that as a child, I ran around and waited on everyone like a hired servant..haha! Even in my single years, I used most of my time and energy accommodating what others expected of me, never expecting or demanding anything back. Once I was married, I dove right into being a wife and then a mommy with everything I had to give going to my family. Then, before my youngest child was through high school, my parents began to decline. I took the reins and did absolutely everything I could to help them live through their final years as comfortably as possible for what they were going through. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I don't resent one second of any time I've spent caring for those I love the most. I always viewed it as a blessing that God allowed me to have the time and energy to serve in that way and to pour whatever I could into others who needed the help. He gave me this jump-in-and-do-it personality and all this pent-up energy for His purposes, and I fully accept that and am thankful for it. I would do every single thing the same if I could go back and do it all again. 

I actually loved nurturing and taking care of my loved ones. It was my purpose for so many years! But now that life has suddenly taken a turn, I find myself having to reevaluate my priorities. I honestly don't remember in any of those seasons ever thinking about what I wanted or how I felt, if I was tired or needed help myself. It was just the way life was and how I needed to be during that time to keep pushing through and keep everyone going. I pushed through migraines, sickness, injury, stress, and anything else I was dealing with and just kept pressing forward like the Energizer Bunny!

But, once my parents had passed and my boys had grown and flown, I found myself sort of lost. What was my job now? Who am I? What is my purpose at this point? I had to try to remember who I am besides a caregiver. I really hadn't ever thought about that! The truth is, who I am now is not really different to who I was before all those years of caregiving, but I'm definitely not who I was in my young, single years (thank you Jesus!) when I could have taken time for myself but didn't. I really had no idea what I like to do, or what makes me happy...not what makes everyone else happy, but what makes me happy? What fills my well? 

So, 2023 became a journey for me. It was time to find me. It was time to enter a season of nurturing myself, meeting my own needs, really for the first time in my life. I had no idea how to do that, but I began asking The Lord to help me find my way to freedom. 

Thankfully, I have the most supportive husband to walk alongside me. We, as a couple, really had never focused on us either, and that needed to change as well. I spent much time in prayer asking The Lord to show me my purpose, and our purpose as empty nesters. I knew I didn't want to waste the time before me. I wanted to make the most of our time in this season while we are healthy enough to get up and decide what we want to do for the day and actually be able to do it. I realize that won't always be possible as we age. I want to use this time learning to care about myself and for Dave and me as a couple without feeling some sort of guilt for doing that. 

It turns out that it's not easy. I know in the last year we've unintentionally hurt feelings. We've declined dinner invitations, turned down group vacations and gracefully declined offers of side jobs we used to have to take to survive. We have backed off from committing ourselves in every spare moment we have available. And let me tell you, as hard as it is to do, it feels great! 

For the first time in my life, I feel free. Free from feeling stretched so thin I'm about to crack. Free from going along with what everyone else wants to do, even if it's not the right thing for me. Free from my time being pre-planned for me every minute of the day. Freedom to be who God really intended me to be! Freedom to invest into others in ways I've wanted to do, but haven't had the time. Freedom to learn new hobbies, spend the day painting, stay at home all day, or not have to set an alarm on my off days. Freedom to have more intentional time with God. Freedom to not feel guilty about any of that!

This new season we have entered is full of new adventures and freedoms that we are starting to allow ourselves to enjoy. Grown children, grandbabies, second, third, fourth, tenth and thirty-first honeymooning! Sitting under the stars, riding through the countryside, tinkering around antique stores and sleeping in on Saturdays. Instead of feeling sad about what we have lost, we are focusing on what time we have left, and how we plan to use it. We still want to honor God in serving, but part of that is taking care of the body, soul and mind He gave us so we are fully equipped to serve Him in the right way: willfully from the heart, not from obligation, fear or guilt.

Here is another important part of what I heard this week while listening to the broadcast I mentioned: Self care=soul care! Mark 12:31 says, "Love your neighbor as yourself", meaning we need to love ourselves too, not love our neighbor instead of ourselves. Even Jesus took time to rest. We all need to take time to rest from being everything to everyone and take care of ourselves too. Then your true self will be able to shine through. Then you will be free. ♥️

Lessons Learned

 

Things I've learned as I get older:

I didn't understand how short 40-50 years was when my grandmother still had breakdowns over losing her dad and brother in a tragic accident when she was 15 years old. I wish I had known to have more compassion, I wish I would have cried with her and acknowledged her loss. I can't imagine, Nanny, how devastating that was for you.

I didn't know that my grandfather's sternness was his way of standing his ground against this crazy world, preparing himself to stand before The Lord one day and giving an account of his motives. All of us have a little of you in us, Papaw, even your great, great grandbabies do. Your legacy will live on for generations.

I didn't understand why my mom cried the day I moved out of the house to start out on my own. Why couldn't she have just been happy for me for once? I wish I would have known that her life was changing too. I'm sorry Mom, I get it now. We were very different, but you were my mom. No one will ever replace you. 

I didn't understand how hard my dad was pushing most of my life just to get through another day of the pain from injuries he suffered in an accident at such a young age. I wish I could have known how to help more to lighten his load instead of resenting household chores and yard work. I'm so proud of you, Dad. You were truly a warrior.

I didn't understand how hard my Granddaddy's life probably was growing up. When my "I love you's" were returned with a stern "Yeah.", I didn't know how hard it was for him to receive true love. I look like you, Granddaddy. I still have a quarter you gave me for Christmas when I was 10.

I didn't know how short life really would be when I told my Granny I would come see her again soon, only to spend my weekends with people who aren't even part of my life now. I wish I could have just even a minute of the time I wasted that could have been spent with her and eased some of her loneliness. So much of you is ingrained in me, Granny. I hope my grandbabies see a little of who you were in me. You're the reason I chose my grandparent name, Granny.

I didn't know the last time I saw my big brother would be the last. I wish I had hugged him a little longer. I wish I had known how short his life would be. I wish I had told him how as a child I always idolized him. I always felt safe when Kevin was nearby. "Three of us" never sounds right. We were four. I miss you, Kevin.

As I get older, I get it. Life has a way of teaching us even when we don't know we are the students. Lessons learned.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

What's Your Theme?

What's your personal theme?

Today, I found myself thinking about life, which I often do. I started pondering, "What is the core theme of my life?" If you really stop and think about it, we all carry a theme underneath our attitudes and actions. I would have to say for me, my life's theme is thankfulness. 

I don't ever want to forget what my life was when I was just starting out. I still let myself think back often, almost daily, in fact, to the years that I struggled to find happiness and make my own way. I put up with so much disrespect and abuse, all for the sake of not being alone. I lived in rented trailers and apartments, using scraps of furniture that were handed down to me from various people and places. At the end of winter, I bought things for next winter from the clearance rack at Hill's, and I bought summer clothes for next year at the end of summer, too. 

I didn't have a car, so my dad picked me up and delivered me to the shop where I worked each day. Eventually, I bought my first car, a 1978 Mazda GLC hatchback, for $800. I had saved up a Christmas account that year, and cashed it in early and asked my boss for my paycheck a few days before our normal Monday payday so I could buy it off the lot that Friday. I couldn't believe I actually had my own car!

I often survived on groceries my sweet Nanny brought me in what she called "care packages". In one of my poorest moments, I added some Italian spices to a can of tomato soup she had given me to make a batch of spaghetti sauce that I ate every day and night for over a week! I remember envying the meals my coworkers ate most days from Bassett's in the mall where our shop was located. Nearly every day, I ate a Snickers bar and a Coke for lunch, an 86 cent meal that got me through the day just fine, even though those green beans and fried chicken the others had sure did look good! (I actually came across my old checkbook registries when we moved in 2012 and saw how many checks I wrote to Eckerd's for my candy bar and soft drink lunch all those times!)

Somehow, through the grace of The Good Lord, I was never a day late on a bill, and I always had enough money to pay my rent, utilities, car insurance and gas. I didn't have any health insurance, but thankfully didn't have any sickness or big events during those years. 

I was in the shop from 8:00 am until 8:00 pm most days taking every walk-in I could get, along with being the only one working every holiday that I could get by with, even if the shop was officially closed (the receptionist at that time hated me for that, but she had no idea how detrimental that day off would have been to me financially!). 

God was so good to me, even when I didn't recognize that He was The One providing for me. So now that I understand it, I don't ever want to forget those days, the days of being the lost little 18 year old girl, trying to figure it all out and make it on my own, learning some hard, hard lessons along the way. 

Jesus was always there, always stepping just before me and showing me the way. For that, I'm still so thankful all these years later. I'm certainly not wealthy and never will be, but I still can't believe I have my own house, my own yard and my own driveway (and not a parking lot!). I have a wonderful husband who loves and respects me, and I have children and grandchildren that fill my life with purpose and value, all of the things I always wanted the most. 

Thankfulness is always at the root of my thinking. Each night as I close my shop door, I thank God for each soul who walked through that door that day. When I spend the day cleaning my house, I thank Him for having this house to clean. When I pay for gas, I thank Him for the car I have to drive and the money He provides for gas. When I lie down at night, I thank Him that I'm tired from a day filled with the responsibilities of the blessings He has given me. 

Still to this day, I have moments of awe at what a wonderful life I have been blessed to live. His grace and mercy are sufficient. Just like God says He will, He does, in fact, make beauty from ashes, and His love never fails. Not once. I am so, so thankful!

What's your theme?

Proverbs 27:19

As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart

Unstolen

 

This February, by no fault of his own, Dave lost his job. It was just cutting numbers on paper to his employer, but to Dave, it was a big punch in the gut. 

The news came on a Wednesday, the day before his 54th birthday. Just the Saturday before, he had went in and worked a full day just to do the right thing for the company and accommodate some contractors that needed his help finishing a project, a day he wouldn't get paid for since he was on salary. Of course, he was devastated and felt completely unappreciated and cheated. He felt like his job had been stolen from him. 

That morning, he called to ask for me to pray for him because he had been called into a meeting in H.R.  The company was making budget cuts, and he feared his position might be expendable. That call to a meeting was a good indicator he would be let go that day.

Dave is the easy-going one of us. I'm usually the planner, the "got a fire under me" type, determined to figure out the next step and get started on a fix immediately. But that morning, when he called, The Lord showed up. I dropped to my knees right there and all I said was, "We trust you, Lord. Whatever you have planned, we trust you!" I stood up from that prayer feeling not just ok, but actually excited about what would happen next. I kept feeling thankful it happened, like it was a good thing, even though we had no idea at all what we would do, or how long he might be unemployed. The only explanation for my peace in that moment is that God had His hand on us and it was palpable.

Dave came home completely broken, and it broke my heart to see him that way. Still, I had peace and surety that this was a good turn of events, even as painful as it was for him. Each day, multiple times per day, I asked The Lord to give Dave the same peace I was feeling. 

He was comforted by so many calls and texts from family, friends and colleagues who showed their utter disbelief he was let go, and offered their support for him. Still, he struggled with the why's and why nots that come with such a sudden life change that's out of our control.

A few days in, I was busy getting ready for the day, when all of a sudden The Lord gave me a thought. It was so clear to me right in that moment that everything we have is His. Everything! Our home, our children, our marriage, our income, and yes, even our jobs. Everything we have comes back to His provisions over us, as He supplies us with everything we need and some of the things we want along the way. So it occurred to me, if this job is God's, who has the power to steal it from Him?

No one has the power to steal anything from God! No human, and not even satan has the power or the authority to steal anything from The Creator of the universe, The Most High God! So if Dave's job wasn't stolen from him, as he was feeling at the time, then it must still be God's to do what He wants with, and in this case, He saw fit to remove Dave from it. 

I firmly believe if God removed Dave from a job he loved and was very good at doing, then He surely had something better planned for him, and he did. He was only unemployed for one month, and is now in a job he loves even more.

You may not have lost your job, but what about your family, or your peace? Your health may be suffering. Maybe you've lost a friend or a loved one, or a relationship that meant so much to you. Maybe your dreams haven't come true.  Maybe you're feeling cheated. So, if that is you tonight, ask yourself,  "Who can steal whatever you have lost from God?"  The answer is still no one. NO ONE, including the devil himself, has the authority to steal anything from The One Who created you, gave you a purpose and supplied you with everything you need to fulfill it. Sometimes He allows things to be moved out of your path to grow you, and to keep you on the journey He so carefully planned out just for you. That doesn't mean we won't feel pain in the process. It may be scary, and it may be hard. Trust Him anyway. It all belongs to Him. Walk in that peace today.

Deuteronomy 10:14 NIV

To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it.

How to Make a Custom Farmhouse Sign for $30!

I had been wanting an old metal sign for my kitchen for some time, but I just couldn't find the right thing without paying a fortune to get it! So, that's when I started thinking about how I could make my own faux vintage metal sign for a lot less money!

You don't have to be particularly artistic to create this type of sign, but it does require patience and time. It's a step-by-step process, and it took me about 5 hours altogether from start to finish. You could speed up the process by using a Cricut for your lettering, but I wanted the authentic feel of an old painted sign. That, and I don't have a Cricut!😁

I went to Lowe's in search of materials. The first thing I looked for was the sheet metal, of course. I found this 24" x 30" sturdy sheet of galvanized metal for $23.48, and I thought it would be perfect! (There was another, much thinner, sheet for a little over $11.00, but it just seemed too flimsy for a sign.)

The edges of the sheet of metal were razor sharp, so I thought I should "cap" it with something for safety so I didn't end up spending my DIY savings on an urgent care visit 😉! I pilfered around Lowe's, looking through different trim options in several departments until I found this vinyl wall paneling moulding. It was $3.28 for an 8 foot piece. Since I would need 108" of trim to surround the edges, I had to buy two. Since I was planning on painting my sign white, the trim wouldn't have to be painted, but if your sign will be a different color, I would assume you could paint it any color you want. 

I used paint I already had on hand, so I didn't have any expense on paint. A can of spray paint runs around $5-6, and craft paint for lettering is usually less than $2 a bottle. One bottle did mine with some leftover. Your paint expense will vary, depending on how many different colors you need. Remember, though, if you're doing a more rustic look, cheaper is better! You want it to be more chippy and sketchy!

This trim is super easy to cut. I used a utility knife and a speed square to cut the 45° angle I needed. Once you get it scored, you can bend it and snap it. The easiest way to measure where to miter this trim is to slip it onto your sign and mark the inside corners with a pencil. The first cut I made was a true measurement of the bottom edge, which was 30", but I forgot that measurement would change once the trim slipped into the metal. That recession made about a 1/2 inch difference, so I had to cut more off.

Now that my trim pieces are cut and ready, it's time to start on the sign! Before I painted the background color on my sign, I wanted to create some rusty spots to give my sign some age. I used brown spray paint and randomly splotched paint here and there, and then immediately sprinkled cinnamon onto the wet paint splotches. I concentrated mostly around the edges, because I felt like an actual rusty sign should have more wear around the edges.

 You can't really tell from the pictures, but once the brown paint and cinnamon dried, I dabbed a little vaseline here and there over my rust spots. This will result in some authentic-looking chips after you spray paint.

I just used regular old spray paint and painted my sign white. If you want, you could primer before you do the rust or paint, but I wanted it to look chippy and worn, so I opted to paint right over the metal so it would not be so perfect. 

As you can see, the paint doesn't stick well where the heavier patches of cinnamon are, so it lets the rust effect show. While the paint was still tacky, I stood above the sign and sifted a little cinnamon through my fingers and let it dust over the tacky paint. After that, I stood the sign up and tapped it on the ground to shake off the loose cinnamon, and in the process it created some authentic-looking rust stains! 

Once the paint is dry (about 15-20 minutes), you can carefully wipe the places you applied vaseline with a dry towel and you'll see some wonderful old chips that expose the rust underneath the paint! 

While I was waiting on the paint to dry, I went to my laptop and created my design. I obviously already had a general idea, but I searched the internet and found several different things I liked. I used bits and pieces of random signs to create my own thing. Once I laid everything out on my computer, I printed it out in 8.5 x 10.5 sections and then taped it all together to make a template that was the size of my metal.

I then taped the template squarely onto my sheet metal and used a ball point pen to trace it out. You have to bear down fairly hard, but doing this will leave an indention in the soft paint underneath. Just be sure not to move your template! 

Once your design is traced out onto your metal, you are ready to paint! I used a paint pen to outline my lettering and to do the finer letters at the bottom, but then I filled it all in with a flat brush and acrylic craft paint. I would suggest that you not use your best artist brushes..I ruined one of my good ones because the roughness of the cinnamon feathered out the bristles on my brush 😞.

Once the lettering paint was dry, I put a little white paint on a chunk of wood and scratched it over the letters to transfer some white back over the letters so it looks like the black lettering is weathered. You could also just lightly sand it, but I was afraid I would sand off my rust stains so block aging worked best for this project 

Now that your lettering and design are done, it's time to attach those pieces of trim! I just used gorilla glue that I squirted into the channel of the side I was attaching and stuck it on. I filled in the corners where the trim comes together with some white caulk since they weren't perfectly cut with my utility knife. Then I created some more rust here and there onto the trim to make it match the sign. My husband soldered some picture hangers onto the back and it was ready to hang!

I'm pretty excited about how it turned out! It looks like it's 100 years old!

I was so inspired by my sign that I baked homemade cinnamon rolls today. I mean, I had to have something to put in that cake box to pull my theme together!

I hope you enjoy making your own custom sign! Leave any questions in the comments and I'll do my best to help you make it happen!

A Flash of Time

 

My siblings and I went through a huge box of family pictures last night. It is sad to look back at how everyone has changed, how some are no longer here with us and how fast time has gone by, but at the same time it is so sweet to look back to see the blessings you sometimes couldn't see at the time, and to see how far The Lord has brought us since some of those pictures were taken. It was especially fascinating to look at photos of great grandparents, great-great grandparents and even distant cousins, aunts and uncles and see physical features in them that carry on through us today! It is such a blessing to have those generations of family photos.

I woke up this morning thinking about how those pictures represent a moment in time. Some of our family photos were from the 1800s where having a picture taken at all was a big deal, and I thought about how they wouldn't have imagined me sitting here today, all these years in the future, looking at them in that photo and taking a picture of their photo with my phone! I loved studying their faces, bodies and hands, looking for a glimpse of me, my brothers and sister, and even my own children in them all these generations later. 

Of course, we also found many pictures of ourselves as babies and children. My mom had the typical 70s era hairstyles and clothing, and our home decor completed the look. My grandparents, who I thought were ancient at the time, were only in their late 30s! We were celebrating the Christmases, birthdays and family occasions that we didn't even know at the time would remain so special in our hearts. Some of the photos were just regular old days, sitting on Dad's lap or watching Mom cook breakfast as she turned toward the camera with a spatula in her hand, posed like she is going to get Dad for taking an early morning picture of her without her makeup!

Those old pictures tell our story as a family.  Looking back at our family photos takes our minds back to an entire era of time, to the core of who we are today. They take us back to a simpler life, a time before we knew what hurts and disappointments lie ahead, and a time before the ones we love were taken from us. They take us back before harsh words were spoken that we can't forget, and before decisions were made that can't be reversed. 

Literally, each snapshot is only a split-second of our lives captured on film. Those moments in time were so much more important than we could have ever known at the time. They were the moments we will long to return to the rest of our lives, the moments we took for granted that are so valuable now. They are the moments that will describe to our future generations who we were, where we came from and how we lived.

Photos don't freeze time, as some describe. They freeze what life looked like that exact moment, but time moves on as soon as the flash disappears. Choose your words carefully. Love while you can. Embrace those differences in each other..they come from a long line of plans for who each of us are supposed to be. Spend time together while you have those you love, because that next moment just after the picture is snapped could look entirely different, as it will inevitably be one day. And don't forget to take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

Proverbs 17:6 (NIV)

Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Psalm 127:3

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

The Day that Changed Us

This is a picture of the day that changed my life. I remember that day well. In fact, just a few years ago, I went into my childhood home where, like watching a scene from an old video reel, I remembered seeing the look on my mom's face as she took the call from the wall phone in the kitchen doorway. Someone from the bakery called to say my dad had been in a wreck. I was 9 years old at the time, so I didn't really totally understand what was going on, but I knew whatever it was, it was bad.  I just remember asking Mom,  "Did Dad die?"

My dad left for work that morning and didn't come home for months. He left that morning able to mow the yard, play ball with us, push us on the swings, all the normal things dads do. By the time he came home several months later, it was just a day-to-day struggle to survive. 

The newspaper writer said in the article that Dad was expected to make a full recovery. What he didn't know was the life long implications of the injuries he sustained. He had a broken back, 7 broken ribs, a collapsed lung, broken nose, and his left leg was crushed into fragments from mid-thigh to below the knee. I remember when they talked about putting dad in a full body cast because his injuries were so vast. Thankfully, they were able to treat him without that being the case. 

I remember feeling so sad for him when I went in to see him and saw his leg hanging from the metal contraption they had hanging from the ceiling. He had rods going through the bones in his leg that were connected by rods on the outside that were holding his leg up in traction. My dad was naturally a slender man, but during that time he became gaunt and frail, much more than his normal 39 year old self had ever been. 

Those first few days were only the beginning of how the wreck would change the course of the rest of all of our lives. Over the following years, dad would have nearly 30 pulmonary embolisms and commonly dealt with blood clots throughout his body due to poor circulation from his injuries. In one of his numerous surgeries after the wreck, he had a stimulator implanted into his back to control chronic pain and that metal box was there for the rest of his life. They removed much of the bone fragments in his left leg and fused what remained together. That shortened his left leg by 2 and 1/2 inches, which resulted and a severe limp. Over the years, his spine curved to compensate. 

Eventually the circulation issues led to 5 heart attacks and a stroke. Even in the last couple of years of his life he fought cellulitis in his left leg that was difficult to heal because of the lack of circulation. His left foot stayed swollen and sore most of the time.

Although dad suffered the rest of his life due to the impact of that day, so did the rest of the family. I remember many calls where Mom got up in the middle of the night to run to the hospital because Dad had fallen into a critical state again. Some of those nights, we had to go along because Mom was afraid she might not be back for a while. 

We practically grew up in hospital waiting rooms, eating out of the vending machines and mining for lost coins underneath the machines and in the coin return slots was what we did for fun!  We slept many nights on the vinyl and metal chairs in the waiting room at Indian Path Hospital and then went to school the next morning. I was often tardy or even absent from school altogether, putting me behind on my schoolwork a lot of the time. I missed 19 days of school that year.

All of those things are part of who I am today. With regular hospital stays, visits to Duke for specialized treatment and Mom having to tend to Dad when he was home in between events, we all learned very quickly that it wasn't about us. We learned to do for ourselves and to depend on each other. We managed our own homework, and all of us actually got good grades despite the rollercoaster we were on most days. We learned to cook our own meals too. We learned humility as we punched our free lunch card in the school cafeteria line due to Dad no longer being able to work. We learned to do without a lot during those days. Expensive name brands and having the latest/greatest still doesn't impress me to this day!

We definitely had more stress than children should have to go through, but that fateful day changed a lot of things for the good for us as well. What a lot of people didn't know at the time was, when my dad wrecked, he and Mom were in the process of a divorce. Dad had moved out, and the paperwork to finalize things would have come up in only a few days. This is where I can't help but think of the phrase I have so often heard: "But God."

Even through all the hard times, God was giving us the blessing of a simple life. As we all became comfortable with our new normal, we had many blessings that most kids will never experience. My dad was home when we got off the school bus in the afternoons. When he was able to cook, he cooked a southern feast of soup beans, cornbread, fried potatoes and homemade pineapple upside-down cake for dessert! We sat outside, swinging in the porch swing in the evenings. A few times when Mom was at the beauty shop, he played Atari with us, scrambling to get up and move before Mom caught him when she pulled into the garage! He sang with us songs I will never, ever forget. Froggy Went A-Courtin' and Let Us Have a Little Talk with Jesus were a couple of his favorites. We watched Little House on the Prairie, The Waltons, The Jeffersons and Gunsmoke while Dad popped popcorn in the fireplace. We had homemade Easter baskets every year, and stockings filled with candy and fruit. We always had a watermelon, Dad's favorite, on the 4th of July. We were never short on laughter when Dad was around with his quick wit and sense of humor.

As tragic as my dad's wreck was, that day had a powerful impact on our futures from then on. I often find myself thinking back to that day, wondering how different life would have been had it not happened. My parents would have likely been divorced, as young as they were would have probably remarried, and I would have had an entirely different life. One thing I know for sure: Mom and Dad deeply loved each other. As I watched my parents' dying days unravel, one thing that carried us all through was the knowledge of how deeply they loved and needed each other. 

I have always been aware that I think differently than a lot of people. A big part of my mindset was shaped that day. Even as a small child, I became acutely aware of how short life is, and how fast it can change. It taught me to never take a second for granted and to always try to treat people as though it might be the last time you see them, because you never know when that person walks out the door if that will be the last time you'll see them. It made me extremely loyal to those I love, and it made me learn to put their needs before my own. 

Those tough years, with Mom and Dad's marital problems before the wreck and Dad's health problems after, made me savor the "good days"-the days with no fussing and fighting and no pain and suffering- and soak them in, a feeling I still crave today. Just normal, ordinary days that are more precious than anything money can ever buy. That's all I needed then and that's all I strive for today- a simple life full of true blessings, the ones you can see so clearly when they are nearly taken away. What a wonderful thing it would be if we could understand that without the pain of the lesson first.

Article printed in the Bristol Herald Courier

Article printed in the Kingsport Times News

   Some homemade cards I made for Dad

Just off the plane, returning from another procedure at Duke

Dad arriving at Tri-Cities Airport  from Duke. The box attached to his belt was the control to the stimulator they implanted into his back