**DISCLAIMER** This post isn't written about anyone or anything In particular. I just often tend to see humor in human behavior, and since most of my blog posts are more serious, I thought I would lighten the mood tonight in an attempt to make you smile 😁 Enjoy and be inspired!
In the world of social media, we feel sort of anonymous, hidden behind a screen, sneaking a look into others' lives. It's like a legal and moral version of peeking through someone's windows! Does anyone my age remember Gladys Kravitz from the show Bewitched? Just think what she could have learned about poor Darrin and Samantha if she had only had Facebook back in the day!!
I always like to say I am not much into social media (or social anything, for that matter!). I'm waiting on anti-social media to hit the scene. That would be an introvert's haven, where we could all just look at everyone else without having to post anything ourselves! Wait..would that work?
In all reality, social media was intended to bring people together, but it often does just the opposite instead. I've actually had people get offended personally because I don't like and comment enough on their Facebook posts. One "friend" even unfriended me because of it! I've also been unfriended because of posting something innocent that someone else misconstrued. It always amazes me that people who know you very well personally seem to take your participation on social media more seriously as a test of your friendship than they do a real relationship with you!
For me personally, I find social media to be less fun than most others do. That's partly why I don't like and comment a lot. I'm not in there looking around very often, and when I am, I am searching for news and information. In many ways, using Facebook as a social outlet sort of exhausts me! I have a long list of pet peeves when it comes to reading social media posts:
1. Facebook (Unsolved) Mysteries: This occurs when someone gives you just a tidbit of information in hopes of getting your attention or curiosity stirred up. An example of a Facebook mystery is a sentence like this- "Just 3 more days. I don't think I can take anymore!" Take anymore what??? What's going to happen in 3 days??? Please, don't bother sharing if you aren't going to explain what that means! I need my sleep, and I can't be lying awake all night wondering what in the world is going to happen to you in 3 days. What if I die in my sleep and never know? I don't think I can take that!!
2. Not So Hidden Diaries: This is where you tell something that would normally be written into a secret diary, the kind where you hide it under your bed and swallow the key. I don't think I can repeat some of the hidden diary things I've read on social media. You've seen some yourself. You know them when you see them..and when you can't unsee them.
3. Fake Hacking: Picking up someone's unlocked phone and putting an embarassing quote on their timeline is NOT hacking. Hacking is when someone who knows how to take a computer apart and put it back together and it will actually still work afterwards sits down at his own computer in another country halfway across the world and opens up your Facebook account, only to be disappointed because all you have posted is Facebook mysteries that they can't figure out. Real hacking is a much bigger problem than leaving your phone unattended among friends. Maybe the act of fake hacking should be renamed something like "fakebooking".
4. Facebook Bulldogging: this is when someone goes to every post they disagree with and starts spouting out his or her opinion just to get a good controversy going. I'm pretty sure you aren't going to change anyone's mind about whatever you are debating to begin with, but I can assure you it won't happen by trying to strong-arm them into doing what you, sometimes as a complete stranger, think they should do. Bulldogging just makes you look like a bully..and a dog.
5. Fishlips, Ducklips, and Chickenlips. We just want to see your "real" face. If I see you in Wal-Mart, I don't want you to have to make that face in order for me to recognize you!
6. The Fickle Facebook Friend: these people are sending you a friend request one week, deleting you the next week, then sending you another request a week later. Sometimes this goes on for years! No explanation or particular reason, they just aren't sure if they really like you or not...today.
7. Facebook PAPs (Passive-aggressive posts): this is where you probably aren't even Facebook friends with someone but you go ahead and chew them out in Facebookland, hoping against hope that somehow it goes viral and they see it. These posts sound something like this- "I hate being lied to. You might think I don't know but I am smarter than you give me credit for! I am done!!" My response to that is 3-fold: first, if your target isn't on your friends list it's likely they'll never see your post, and if they do, they aren't even sure it's about them..which also leaves about 100 other people wondering if it IS about them! Secondly, if they are on your friends list and you are that mad at them, why not just call them or even better, go see them (dare I say it?) in PERSON?!?! to discuss the matter at hand....privately. Thirdly, if you are truly done, then don't post a rant to them or about them..in that case you actually aren't really done at all. You are just beginning!
7 & 1/2: Using Facebook as a Weapon: This is 7 & 1/2 because it's basically a continuation of #7. One thing my boys always hated hearing me say when they were starting with social media in middle school is, "You will not use Facebook as a weapon!" Sadly, many actual adults still do just that!
An example of that is shouting out insults to friends or family members by reposting memes and quotes in order to insult your enemy of the week, and to drum up support from the other drama seekers on Facebook. Posts like, "It's ok to let go of aluminum friends once you realize what gold is worth 😉", and then sit back and watch the comments come in.."Honey, you don't even need the gold friends! You are better than that! You're beautiful, you're awesome, you're smart, you're amazing..blah, blah, blah...",typically said by people who barely know you or wouldn't give you air if you were in a jug. And, if you are truly all those things, you would be so busy being beautiful, awesome, smart, amazing, and blah, blah, blah that you wouldn't be wasting your time trying to win an invisible Facebook war with someone who probably has your profile hidden anyway.
A second example is intentionally shutting someone out just to show them you're the most powerful entity in the social media universe. The way to do this is to skip only their comments, but go overboard reacting to everyone else's. That'll get 'em!
At the beginning of 7 & 1/2 I referred to my middle schoolers being sometimes guilty of Facebook war. That's where that silliness needs to be left once you enter the actual grown-up realm of society.
8. Facebook Foul Mouths: I realize not everyone thinks of bad words as actually being a bad thing, but come on, people. If you would be appalled at hearing either your toddler or your pastor say it, then I'm pretty sure you shouldn't say it either..even on Facebook. It only makes you look bad..and social media's purpose is to display ourselves in a prettier light than the one in which we actually live. Pretty is as pretty does. That's pretty simple.
9. Catching a Virus: this is when someone holds up a cardboard sign, has a terribly sad expression on his or her face and posts a picture of themselves, creating a campaign stating something like, "I bet I can't get 1 gazillion shares before I fall in a well, break both my legs, get gangrene and die a slow, painful death." I'm pretty sure if I'm truly dying of gangrene, getting social media likes are going to be pretty far down on my to-do list, following more important things like taking antibiotics and drinking one last sweet tea.
10. Gross Posts: not everyone enjoys seeing stitches and bloody, gaping wounds. Correction: not everyone can handle seeing stitches and bloody, gaping wounds! I'm fairly sure you don't want to see a picture of me vomiting in the comments under your gaping wound photo. Which brings me to my next and final gross post peeve, please don't tell me you are vomiting or spending your day on the toilet. I reeeeaallyyy prefer to not picture you that way! The next time I run into you, I will immediately recapture that picture in my head. It's not a good look for you.
Basically, social media puts all of us on a stage in front of the world to be seen. We get to choose what we show of ourselves, and we really get to create whatever image we want people to see of us! Our real goal here is to make more friends and be better liked by others. That doesn't mean we have to be fake, or make up stuff to puff ourselves up. It just means maybe we should highlight some of our better traits and downplay some of the less desirable ones, sort of like you would if writing a resume to a potential employer (or when trying on clothes in a dressing room!). Think of how the person on the other end is going to receive your posts.
I know employers who actually peek into your social media accounts before they decide to hire you (or not hire you!). As a mom, I have spied on many-a-girl over the years to assess whether or not my sons will be allowed to date them. It takes me less than five minutes to know a "no". You tell a lot about yourself by what you post and the spirit in which it's posted.
Think about what you post. Is it uplifting? Is it moral? Will people think better or worse of you once they see it? It matters. People notice. Strive to be a post poster-child for your social media posts. You'll feel better about your image, and so will everyone else 😉

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